Why 67% of People Would Rather Shock Themselves Than Sit With Their Thoughts

There's a fascinating — and slightly disturbing — study out of the University of Virginia that says a lot about our relationship with our own minds.

Researchers asked participants to sit alone in a room for just 15 minutes with nothing to do but observe their thoughts. No phone. No music. No distractions. The results were striking: most people hated it. And 67% of the men in the study chose to give themselves an electric shock rather than sit quietly with their own thoughts.

Let that sink in. People chose physical pain over mental silence.

Why Silence Feels Unbearable

This isn't a personal failing. It's a cultural one.

We live in a world that profits from distraction. Every app, every notification, every scroll is designed to pull your attention outward — away from your inner world. And when that's all you've ever known, sitting with your thoughts doesn't feel peaceful. It feels threatening.

When no one teaches you how to observe your thoughts, your brain fills the silence with spiraling. Second-guessing. Replaying conversations. Catastrophizing. The quiet becomes unbearable, and anxiety quietly grows.

The cruel irony? Avoiding your thoughts doesn't make them go away. It makes them louder.

The Skill Nobody Taught You

Here's what the research also shows: people who can observe their thoughts without judgment have measurably better mental health. Not people who have "better" thoughts — people who have a different relationship with their thoughts.

This is a trainable skill. It's not a personality trait you either have or don't. It's a muscle. And like any muscle, it gets stronger with practice.

The problem is that most of us were never taught how to build it.

How To Start

There are many ways to begin developing this skill — mindfulness practices, meditation, therapy, journaling. The key is finding an approach that feels accessible rather than overwhelming.

This is exactly why I created BREATHE. Through structured journaling prompts, guided meditations, and real tools used by therapists with their clients, BREATHE is designed to help you build this observation muscle — one page, one breath at a time.

But even if a journal isn't for you, start here: the next time silence feels uncomfortable, get curious about it instead of reaching for your phone. Ask yourself — what thought am I trying to avoid right now?

You're not broken. You were just never taught this. And that's something you can change.

BREATHE: Stop Overthinking, Calm Your Emotions & Change Your Life is available on Amazon. Get your copy here.